tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-205613712009-10-17T05:58:24.973-05:00If You can't be smart, Be a smartass!briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.comBlogger168125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-5499842899504659752008-07-29T12:41:00.006-05:002008-07-29T13:48:53.256-05:00

Or should I say "waiter".For those who may be interested and haven't heard, 'waiter' from waiterrant took off the mask today. His book "Waiter rant: Thanks for the tip---confessions of a cynical waiter" is being released today. As such he has given up his anonymity.Sure it's not like finding out who zoro really is....It's not quite like having the mask removed and seeing Bruce wayne underneath...

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-87595855312825904262008-06-20T22:06:00.001-05:002008-06-20T22:07:52.031-05:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080621/ap_on_re_us/pregnancy_pactThere isn't a lot in this world that shocks me anymore but this one I have to say did so. Wow is all I can say. These girls are in for quite the rude awakening imho.BD

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-61532545123038831982008-06-06T05:23:00.002-05:002008-06-06T05:49:31.361-05:00

First of all , I would like to offer my thanks to those who have occasionally popped in to the blog, or at times through email and asked some version of "are you okay" or something to that effect. I am pretty sure that I answered all those emails, but just in case one fell through the cracks, I do appreciate the concern. That said, there is really nothing to be concerned about. I am doing just

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-67382444810387742852008-01-23T22:26:00.000-05:002008-01-23T22:37:05.180-05:00

Server: "Are you about ready to order or do you need a few minutes?"Guest: "I think I am ready."Server: (pulling out her handy dandy order pad)"Okay I am ready when you are"Guest: "I think I will have the chicken dinner."Server: "Ma'am would you like the three piece chicken dinner or the 5 piece?"Guest: "What's the difference?"Server: (looking confused) " Ummmm.......two pieces"Fortunately she

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-5853938140439862812007-12-26T22:29:00.000-05:002007-12-26T22:49:08.036-05:00

Happy D.A.C. everyone!The real holiday is finally here. Call me a scrooge if you must, perhaps it is true.Accuse me of not being in 'the spirit' if you like, we shall agree to disagree.Now life can go back to normal for a year at least.No more waiting in line for 15 minutes every time I run into the store.No more thinking, 'Man I can't afford to get them something' momentsNo more, "I give up i

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-42123551167556283162007-11-20T23:36:00.000-05:002007-11-21T00:01:58.130-05:00

Is it really almost December already? I was walking around walmart shortly after halloween and heard my first Christmas song playing over the loud speaker. Call me a grinch, but I beleive I said out loud something along the lines of "what the F@#@!"It is hard to believe that thanksgiving is this week, Christmas is just around the corner, and before you know it it will be freaking 2008? REally?

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-20245633042444419292007-11-06T23:39:00.000-05:002007-11-06T23:57:15.194-05:00

For those of you who may be interested, Jason over at The clarity of night is holding another contest. You can click the link above or in my sidebar for all of the details. However the short version of it is you are to write a story of 250 words or less based on the above picture. He has held a number of these contests in the past(6 I think), and I have taken part in 3 or 4 myself. Besides the

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-19674871109964220302007-11-05T22:40:00.000-05:002007-11-05T23:20:56.643-05:00

Safe to say I haven't been too active in the blog world as of late. Nothing major to post about now either but a few things that have gone through my mind lately.-Daylight savings time: I have probably posted on this before but oh well. Can someone please splain to me the usefulness of this? Want to make this useful? Do it twice a week. Friday at 4pm boom, spring forward to 5 and you get to go

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-67023752581665645212007-10-18T11:22:00.000-05:002007-10-18T11:25:13.309-05:00

Or considering my posting rate as of late perhaps "funny of the month" would be better. Anywhooooo, found this on one of the sites I visit.From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story,of a couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart, only to have their car breakdown in the parking lot. The man told his wife to go on in and shop while he fixed the car in the lot. The wife returned later to

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-79547272515139230812007-10-01T14:10:00.000-05:002007-10-01T14:14:28.848-05:00

It has been a rather odd few weeks as of late. I told you the story of getting pulled over for driving too slow. It is safe to say that I haven't heard the end of it since then, and truth be told Nor should I. Fast forward a few weeks.....Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?Me: "I wasn't driving too slow was I?"Officer: (enter combination weird/ ' Oh so you think you are a smartass' look

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-6317497369186124932007-09-28T07:09:00.000-05:002007-09-29T08:11:00.612-05:00

Sometimes it is hard to get what your pet is trying to tell you. With practice though, it is kind of funny how you can pick up on how certain body language means 'pet me' or "hey your home nice to see you!" It can range from "when you get the chance I kind of have to tinkle"(I am not sure why I imagine Kash to have a british accent when I get that look but I do).It can be as simple as "I have to

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-9567583554177732402007-09-15T04:14:00.000-05:002007-09-17T10:25:23.211-05:00

Just something I found in my email box. Oldie but goodie.To whom it may concernI must send my thanks to whoever sent me the oneabout rat crap in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wettowel with every envelope that needs sealing.Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I openfor the same reason.I no longer have any savings because I gave it to asick girl (Penny Brown) who is

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-1087595172659485302007-09-03T10:27:00.000-05:002007-09-03T10:49:56.230-05:00

I was able to ignore it for a while.When I bought my first package of Just for men beard coloring, I said, nah I am not getting old. I am getting vain. That's all. No big deal.When people started saying ' sir' to me: I let it go.Or calling me "Mr."...........No big deal, it is just a sign of respect is all.But I guess all good things come to an end. Today on my way to work, I got pulled over. The

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-92191197299496013692007-09-03T09:16:00.000-05:002007-09-03T09:51:37.964-05:00

One of my recent blog finds, Turnbaby of 'And as the world turns' (blog) and Turnbaby talks(Blog talk radio show) has been talking a lot about the urban dictionary and how funny it is. I finally managed to check it out for myself and have to agree. My dictionary dot com word of the day often finds its way into my trash bin unread. This one however, is being read daily. I guess I won't be getting

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-8948998667336509102007-08-24T22:52:00.000-05:002007-08-24T22:53:57.731-05:00

No wonder he plead guilty.BD

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-48062558481831209852007-08-23T22:01:00.000-05:002007-08-23T22:05:02.554-05:00

When girls don't put out!!This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!This is really funny!!I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.FOR EXAMPLE:One evening last week, my

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-40903803585759641542007-08-20T01:23:00.000-05:002007-08-20T10:56:01.681-05:00

Maybe it is the alcohol. Maybe it is a lack of sleep. Maybe it is just delusions of thinking I can actually pull it off, but as you can see, I decided to try out a new look. I hate to look closer to see what I managed to screw up, but there isn't any smoke coming from my keyboard and the blog didn't disappear(sorry to disappoint you) so it wasn't as bad as I feared it may be. I see all my links(

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-80538516622916922862007-08-16T00:36:00.000-05:002007-08-16T00:43:54.753-05:00

I just got this via email and thought it was funny so thought I would pass it along.Do Elephants Really Have a Good Memory?In 1986, Mike Hogan was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mike approached it very carefully. He

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-20754320093828357112007-08-14T22:31:00.000-05:002007-08-14T23:02:44.380-05:00

After careful consideration I have come to the conclusion that women are all insane. All of em! One of my best friends used to say this to me all the time. I would simply laugh a little bit, nod my head and agree. I had no idea just how right he was.Exhibit A)I pull in to work and walking through the parking lot I notice a strange car that I haven't seen before. Upon closer inspection I see that

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-10844051542236257952007-08-12T17:26:00.000-05:002007-08-13T20:52:19.948-05:00

If you work outside for a living feel free to ignore this ranting post.If you live in Minnesota or Wisconsin, or Boston, or the like and it is currently 90 degrees or warmer by all means, tell me to shut the hell up and ignore this post.IF, However, you live as I do, in Florida and you are bitching about the heat I feel absolutely no pity for you. Shut the hell up and deal with it already! A few

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-17240090350468215662007-08-06T01:59:00.000-05:002007-08-06T02:29:15.597-05:00

Well both contests that I mentioned a few posts back are over. The results of the clarity of night contest will be revealed monday morning sometime. If you haven't already, Head on over and check out some of the entries. Some of my favorites and the ones that got my votes are as follows(in no particular order).Entry #72 "Mr. fifth date" by Dottie CamptonEntry #57 "The End" by Rachel DimondEntry

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-36722467900394082842007-08-03T08:28:00.000-05:002007-08-03T09:06:33.147-05:00

Is good again!!!! After 45 minutes on the phone with a tech support guy I finally have my wireless up and running. Yay!!!! Like sex, It could have been done in 8 minutes were it not for the constant 'huh's? and "whats?" and "could you repeat thats" caused by my trying to understand the first support tech's accent. It was all I could do not to try an imitation and say 'would you like a nice cherry

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-68711396021414908342007-08-03T00:37:00.000-05:002007-08-03T00:49:37.352-05:00

Well time is already up for the Clarity of night contest. From the looks of it, with 83 entries, Jason had another awesome turnout. If you haven't made it over to read them head on over and check them out. A lot of them are QUITE good. If you DID enter, your work is only half done. Now comes the voting part of the competition, so get to reading. The object of this one was to write a story in 250

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-28317552370845393702007-07-31T04:26:00.000-05:002007-07-31T04:41:37.023-05:00

One of my co-workers has been bugging me for weeks to find this Brad Paisley video and watch it. I have heard the song numerous times on the radio and found it pretty funny but the video takes it to a whole other level. Add in the fact that at least three actors from the best show ever being in it allows me more time of denial that Seinfeld really DID end and that is just gravy. Anywhoooooo check

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20561371.post-7156909377551096532007-07-30T19:08:00.000-05:002007-07-31T04:15:57.955-05:00

Jason from Clarity of night is apparently at it again. He is holding a "halo' contest. In this contest you are to write a story of no more than 250 words based on the picture below. Sorry for the late notice on this one. Usually I find out about them pretty early,and pass the word but since I have been wayyyy behind on the blogging as of late I missed it until now. I don't know if I will have

briliantdonkeyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05159881776835603748noreply@blogger.com2